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Ode To A Sales Director

by Aubrey Sinden
This was read at a pre-Christmas Luncheon at The Mermaid Hotel, Rye following the December Board Meeting of Spun Concrete Ltd in 1982

Our Sales Director has a car
It’s called by some ‘The Tank‘
No army surplus job is this
In fact, it’s rather swank

It’s quite possible it’s an avian car
The Chairman thinks it’s a lark
I think it’s more like an oozlum bird
For it goes round and round to park

This, the very latest addition
To Spun Concrete’s fleet,
AKA ‘The Travelling Hencoop’
For the travelling elite

I think JM could now EGGSploit
The opportunity heaven-sent
To obtain some EGGStra cash
With which to pay the rent

He really should EGGSamine
And express as a per cent
Return On Capital Employed
Capital EGGSpenditure to be lent

I’m sure he’ll be delighted and
With the outcome quite EGGStatic
And perhaps I should EGGSplain
The Volvo Estate’s an automatic

Of course, he’ll have to EGGStract
EGGStraneous muck at night
It must be really spick and span
For the morrow’s call on site

John, Health & Safety bear in mind
Whilst there’s no risk of oedema
A lack of cleanliness could result
In a nasty bout of EGGSanthema

If you ask “What about the smell?”
The answer is quite old hat
There is no problem really
Hens will soon get used to that!

Aubrey Sinden
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