My wife complains I'm in the way,
I must go out and fill my day.
Hobbies are fun and frustrating for some,
Making partners unhappy and
feeling quite glum.
Some like gardening and weeding and mucking about,
I tried pulling some
weeds up and put my back out,
So gardening's a hobby I can well do
I'd rather go to the pub and enjoy a nice stout.
Fishing's a hobby they say is quite fun,
I tried it once and came home
But a stink on my clothes,which I threw in the tub,
And quickly got changed and went down to the pub.
At the pub I sat with my good friend Rolf.
We spoke of our pastimes and he mentioned golf.
It rang a bell in my
head and I thought 'shall I do it ',
So I borrowed some gear and
quickly went to it.
It wasn't as easy as we thought it might be.
I lost all my balls on the very first tee.
Frustrated and downhearted I gave back my gear,
And went to the
clubhouse for a refreshing beer.
Now bowls is a game that seemed to be good,
But I couldn't bowl straight 'cause the ball - 'sorry' - wood
finished lopsided and rolled with a curve,
Which put me right off, and I
just lost my nerve.
I've tried swimming 'til my arms came out of their sockets,
snooker but the balls seemed too big for the pockets.
I sang in the choir and was left in no doubt
It was my sort of voice
they could well do without.
I've tried everything just to improve my life,
Now I think it is best
to stay home with my wife.
It may make her happy and full of good cheer,
And I needn't go out now,
'cause I'll brew my own beer.
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