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Con Sequence

by Mary Stewart

Now Joe and Marie Sequence were just ordinary guys
Their long-awaited daughter was the apple of their eyes

They named her Constance Lucy but they always called her Con
At first they didn’t realize just what they’d taken on

For Con was fearless and her feats grew bolder every year
Her strength was quite prodigious and she hadn’t any fear

Athletics were her forte and she out-ran Mighty Mo
Her whirlwind laps around the track made Usain Bolt seem slow

She skied down all the black runs and became a champion jockey
And woe betide the other teams when they played her at hockey

At sixteen years Con bravely took Mount Everest in her stride
The Eiger and the Matterhorn and many more beside

She tight-roped over canyons and she rode the Severn bore
Was in the English rugby team and made a record score

She sky-dived out of aeroplanes, became a deep sea diver
And when she was just seventeen became a rally driver

She outmanoevred Hamilton, as round and round she flew
She did the London marathon, the He Man Challenge too

She swam with sharks and crocodiles and wrestled with a bear
She tossed the Highland caber like a matchstick in the air

Against eight hefty challengers she did a tug of war
And tumbled them like nine-pins a-rolling on the floor

She wrestled with the Sumos and became a fearsome boxer
Opponents quaked when in the ring as nothing seemed to fox’er

She swam the English Channel and was back in time for lunch
Her parents watched her every win and were as proud as Punch

They had to buy new cupboards for the cups that she’d acquired
She’d made them rich as Croesus so they very soon retired

And lived a life of Reilly and became Con’s back-up crew
They travelled round the world with her as fame and fortune grew

But one fine day on Battery Hill young Constance met her end
There was a Fairlight driver a-coming round the bend

And his reactions were so slow they ended up ker-splat
The consequence for Con Sequence was she was squashed quite flat

She’d been a one-off wonder and on danger she’d been hooked
Now Jo and Marie Sequence knew their golden goose was cooked

There’d never be another girl quite like their darling Con
But Con was Gone

Mary Stewart - March 2017
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